Suffering
It is all nice and good to ponder life, to write about it, and to seek for what’s deeper; but such thoughts seem like luxuries when faced with suffering. I speak not of my own pain, for that merely requires coping - I speak of the pain of someone close. What peace we may garner in our private moments, and in the intimate support of love, is not something we can just give to another as comfort. And despite all the rationalizations that I might say to myself to protect me from the pain of empathy, the fact is we are bound to those we love, in pleasure and in pain.
Aging is not an easy process. For some it is worse than dying, for it requires adapting once again after so many years of life. Health wavers, mind falters, and moments become more precious. Memories comfort and haunt, and friends who provided such valued support pass away one by one as the barrier of life expectancy is reached and crossed. For the elderly, isolation can be the greatest pain. We spend much of our life investing in deeper values that are supposed to endure, to give peace in the last years; but the nag of an aged body dims the joy that many well-lived years should have given.
I am feeling quite helpless in this moment, to share what spark of life I have to offer with my dear friend. What words can I say when several hours distance separate us? Plans have been set for a visit, and now I too must wait. But even when I visit and take time to listen and to share cheer; even if the conversation should wax to deeper things, I’ll only have a few hours to share. These days I am not much of a praying man, though I live open to a loving Creator; but my prayer will be…that some spark of hope will be shared, and some relief will be felt - body and soul.