Ban Silent Victories!
What happens when something goes right in life? If it’s something big, the custom appears to be to have a celebration, a moment to stop and be happy and thank those who made it possible. But what about personal victories? I find I too often write them off and move on to the next challenge, in an endless drive forward towards no particular ultimate goal. Certainly at work, frustration comes from not being recognized for my contribution while watching my coworkers spend their days trumpeting their efforts rather than get any real work done.
Maybe that’s the oxymoron: personal…victory. If it’s so personal, then unless it becomes a public victory, who would know? So I ask myself, when is the last time you stopped to smile on your accomplishments? And why is it so difficult to share them with my partner, or friends, or coworkers, or the local paper? The mere thought of being recognized makes me cringe - ahh the truth! And yet, I expend so much energy to accomplish things for others, hoping for some scrap of “thank-you” which rarely comes. I guess when you blog-jectify it, I’m your typical low self-esteem case; or some such psychoterm. But believe it or not, I didn’t fire up the browser for a therapy session.
Perhaps, the key to New Years resolutions is not only setting attainable goals but stopping to celebrate successes. And maybe my coworkers could join in my victories, if I took time myself to enjoy them and not look at any mention of a person’s accomplishments as arrogant. The key is me. Lazy bones that I am, I see stopping and celebrating as just another job to do, and one that can be skipped to move on to the next goal. But there’s a reason every human culture has holidays and celebrations; its human and healthy to stop and appreciate where we’ve been, even if it requires a little work to prepare the victory “feast.”
So, here’s my New Years resolution addendum:
No more silent victories! Even if just a word to a friend, I resolve to take the time to share my accomplishments with others; and to keep an open ear when they share their victories with me.
Photo by Daniel Milbo
I agree. If you don’t share your victories with your friends, they won’t know to congratulate you!
Comment by Chrissie — January 26, 2009 @ 11:47 am
I have a strategy that works and has become a natural reaction to me:
When/If I achieve something, no matter how small and personal it may be, I find myslelf smile at myself and say Wow ! I am so good !!am I not?
After that I would share it with someone, usually a good friend who would listen. However it would be ok with me if they don’t. I would mention my “victories” it down in my journal before I could let it go and move on to my next challenge.
I agree that we should acknowledge other people on their victories for the reason that we like our own as much as they do theirs. On the other hand, we should acknowledge our own to our own selves either anyone knows it or not.
I don’t know how it works for our self esteem yet I know I find the way to have enough energy for my work and more energy to learn new things ahead. When I learn new things I write them down too. Hope that makes some sense.
Comment by Hoangtv — February 19, 2009 @ 6:07 am